How to Live With a Creative Person Part 3: Appreciating Stubborness

     One of the most astounding and honorable features of many creative types is the ability to try and fail, and try again.  To some people, this could very well look a heck of a lot like stubbornness and be very annoying.  Others will see in them a most admirable form of resilience that that should be regarded with a deep appreciation for the ability to overcome endless rejection and failure.  The truth is, creative types are stubborn, and that is a good thing.  Creative and artistic people possess ideas that they feel a deep desire to share with the world.  It comes in many forms, from visual and performing arts, to writers and business entrepreneurs.  To hold true to any vision means to experience rejection and failure over and over again.  In the plainest terms, it means a general lack of any kind of instant gratification.  In a culture where instant gratification is often valued, stubbornness about pursuing an artistic endeavor or business idea, can seen pointless to some.  There is always an easier way. Always. If you live with a creative person, count your blessings, because this person, more than likely, possesses the very noble trait of resiliency.  It is the type of resiliency that allows writers to deal with countless rejections from publishing companies, performing artists to be turned down at auditions and still come back to try again, and  business entrepreneurs to fail at their ideas and still find a way to pursue their vision.  As a jewelry artist, this resilience is what gives me the ability to wake at the crack of dawn, pack my car, set up my tent display, return home with disappointing sales, and still bounce back and try again.  I include creative business types in this discussion because I am married to one.  Although my husband is not an artist, he an astounding ability to think outside the box to come up with ideas to connect with communities, and help grow organizations.  He has faced resistance as well at times, but has vision, and therefore resilience. It is a trait I deeply admire in him.. Whether you choose to call it resilience or stubbornness, I say, honor it, because it is an awesome quality .  It is what has given me the ability to learn things like bellydance and hoop dance.  I have awkwardly bumbled through learning my 3/4 shimmy and various hoop moves, and come out scratching my head when I try to teach people who only say "I can't do it".  So give thanks to your own stubborn mule.  Mules, after all, are pretty cool animals.

How to Live with a Creative Person Part 2: The Truth About Hoarding

     I must admit, I am not a big fan of the tend in reality shows.  I don't keep up with Honey Boo Boo, wealthy housewives that fight, or some family who created a fortune selling duck hunting tools.  I do however, have a weakness for the show "Hoarders".  I like to watch that show for the demented but very psychological reason that networks count on to makes these shows a hit: I watch it because it makes me feel better about my own hoarding tendencies.  I watch the people who don't have room to walk in their homes and think "well, at least I am not that bad!".  I do however, have to admit that I can relate somewhat to some of the cases on the show, minus the deep-rooted and sometimes severe psychological issues that always come up.  Take for instance, the show that featured the seamstress whose house was filled with fabric that she was going to use "someday".  I will freely admit to purchasing things that I will use "someday", but couldn't quite figure out what to do with it yet.  The above pictured necklace is the perfect example.  I purchased this beautiful mother-of-pearl equestrian pendant over a year ago at a flea market.  I has sat for that long until I finally found this little souvenir bracelet to pair with it.  Not every creative person is a supply hoarder, but many are.  There is just something about sitting down to create a piece of jewelry and having a bountiful array of tools, beads, findings and other materials at your disposal.  Not having that one little thing to make that you need to make that piece what you envision can be frustrating. I will probably always be a bit of a hoarder and my wonderful husband doesn't ever criticize me for it.  A great thing about being married so long is really being able to understand the other person and accept them for who they are.  He is the opposite of a pack rat.  He is a tosser.  Living with a tosser has helped me let go of things I haven't found a use for and balances out my hoarding tendencies.  Watching reality shows about extreme hoarders makes me realize I never want to be that seamstress with the house so full of fabric that it is a fire hazard.     So, if you live with a creative hoarder, be gentle and understand that they just want all the wonderful creative materials at their hands when they create.  If you have to clear a path in your home just to walk, perhaps it is time to have a chat with your partner, but otherwise, just leave them in peace with their creative clutter!

How to Live with a Creative Person Part 1: Understanding Creative Impulses

     Living with a creative person has its own joys and challenges, just ask anyone who has the privilege of doing so.  My husband and I are coming up on 17 years of marriage, which is a long time to figure out how the other person clicks.  Still, it takes a bit more delving into the artistic brain to really fully understand how we are wired.
     The first example is understanding the idea of creative impulses.  All artists have light bulb moments and also some form of writers block.  The latter can be frustrating.  Weeks can go by without feeling like I have one new creative idea.  The trouble with creative impulses is once you get them, you want to work on it RIGHT NOW!  This does a little to explain why dinner sometimes gets delayed in my house!  I have taken to writing ideas down when I get them, but to me, they always feel like delicate birds fluttering overhead and if I don't catch them they will fly away and never return.  The above pictured necklace was the result of one such creative impulse.  This one conveniently struck  let Thursday afternoon right before spring break.  Right before kids being home from school and a holiday road trip was when I finally had a new idea for how to incorporate these beautiful Victorian Buttons into a design I like.  If you are a creative person, you can probably relate to the crabbiness of having an idea and not being able to work on it RIGHT NOW!  If you are living with a creative person, this may explain to you the odd work hours they keep, stealing away a few hours on the weekend to work on something they needed to do RIGHT NOW!  So, be patient with your artist.  Understand that if he/she has cocooned into their studio or creative space, they are just trying to catch those fleeting creative impulses while they can!

Lucky Charms

                                                                           

 



          Whenever I am searching through old jewelry (which is often) , I am always struck by the large number of "lucky charms" I come across.  Some are religious symbols of various faiths, some are secular symbols we are all familiar with such as horseshoes and clovers.  Collecting and putting these charms aside for a necklace gave me a chance to ponder the meaning of luck and why people are inspired to carry around such symbols in hopes they will bring good fortune.  Luck is a funny thing, and often goes hand in hand with faith (although not necessarily religious faith).  For the center focal point of this necklace, I chose a vintage souvenir charm from Las Vegas.  If ever there was a place where people desire to believe in the power of luck, this is the place.  If you have never been to Las Vegas, I highly recommend visiting sometime.  My husband and I were lucky enough (no pun intended) to go there a few years ago.  There are fabulous shows, fountain displays, shopping, hotels with live lions (in a safe enclosure, of course), roller coasters, and aquariums.  There is, however, a darker side to this city.  Liquor stores and pawn shops are plentiful on the outskirts of the city.  Large casinos are intentionally devoid of windows and clocks in hopes to draw gamblers in to try their luck and lose track of time.  I gambled a grand total of one time during my time there.  I put $1 in a slot machine and promptly lost it.  That was the end of that and we had better things to do than depend on luck to win some money.  Yet, it is easy to see why people can get drawn in.  There is such a thing as luck and being in the right place at the right time.  It is possible to go to the racetrack place a winning bet on the long shot to win.  You can place a bet in a roulette game and win a heap of money.  There are stories sometimes heard of some famous actress who was discovered by some Hollywood director while waiting tables at a diner, or someone who picked up a discarded lotto ticket that ended up winning the jackpot.  Luck certainly does exist, but too much belief in luck can leave you throwing your money away in a windowless casino.  Wear your lucky charms so that you may go out in the world and try to make your own luck!

Finding the Key to Happiness Part 5: Surround Yourself with Other Happy People

                                                                               

  I am writing this blog at the end of what is typically the most unhappiest month of the whole year.  Holiday festivities are over, sales are low, it's cold, there is ice, snow, polar vortexes, delayed and cancelled events due to unfavorable weather.  My sandals and sundresses sit lonely in the closet taunting me with thoughts of warmer weather.   Yet, despite a rough start to the new year, and some really cold weather, I have had some time recently to reflex on what an awesome month this really was.  I had a chance to get together with a good artist friend to chat about art, life, business, marriage, etc....  I had the chance to get together with a small group of artists in the area to share ideas and swap supplies.  I completed a two day training to become a Hoopnotica Certified Instructor and had the chance to connect with a really fun group of people.  I attended a bellydance student performance salon, where dancers with all different personal styles, and ability levels, performed a solo using a mix of improvisation and choreography.  At all of these events I was struck by what an amazing sense of fellowship and joy there is in finding other people that share your passion.  People who spend time doing things that they love tend to be pretty happy, so it makes sense I am not around too many downers.  We all have known a few downers at some point.  Those people who seem to thrive on being miserable, complaining, turning every positive into a negative, and constantly being stressed out about something.  They are people to avoid since they always seem intent on bringing others into their misery.  I feel like just handing them a hula hoop and saying "here, try this, it will make you feel better!".  This month has made me realize how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life, from a phenomenal dance and hooping community, to my growing community of art friends, and to my close friends and family, especially my husband, who always looks on the bright side.  All of them have made this dismal month full of hope and joy, and for that, I am very grateful.  I has inspired my  hoop weekend to upcycle  bangles using wire, sari fabric, vintage buttons, and various found objects.  Each one is unique and has it's own beauty, just like every person has their own joy to share.  So go find out what yours is, and share it with others!

Finding the Key to Happiness Part 4: Exercise

     It's that time of year again.  The darkness has set in and the holiday cookies are everywhere.  We are not out and about hitting the beach or throwing the ball around in the backyard.  We are holed up in our houses eating cookies and watching "Elf" for the 90th time. There has been a lot written about exercise affecting your mood, increasing your sero-something levels and giving you that famed "runners high".  Given all the research out there on this and the benefits of exercise, you would think people would be hitting the gym as much as possible.  Somehow, for many people, exercise is something still viewed as a chore.  For artists and crafters, we spend long periods hunched over our work in concentration, then go to craft shows and spend long hours sitting in a chair (although setting up and taking down your display is a workout and never let anyone tell you different!).  With jobs, kids, and the many other responsibilities we have, exercise seems to just be another thing we "just don't have time" for.  I have noticed that exercise programs. like diets, seem to follow trends. The south beach and paleo diet seem to be poular, alongside the spin and zumba classes.  Here is my advice of today, though: just find your own path and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.  Exercise is important, but more imporatant than what exercise you choose to do is just getting out there and doing something.  If you have a dog, this should be easy.  Every dog will treat a meager stroll around the block as the highlight of the entire day.  So get out there and walk your dog, even on colder days (although I'll admit to skipping this one more recently as icy conditions have set in).  If. like me, the thought of riding around on a stationary bike for an hour in a group class sounds dismal, then do something else (I mean no offense to spin classes, or spin class instructors, everyone needs to find their own path).  I do believe what they say about exercise affecting your mood.  If I haven't had time to do anything else, spinning my hula hoop around in the basement and working up a sweat for twenty minutes will work wonders to chase my glum mood away.  Practicing my shimmy while cooking dinner will do the same (which may explain why I tend to overcook things).  I have been attracted to belly dance and hoop dance because they are creative forms of exercise and always provide new challenges and goals to shoot for, which keep me motivated.  That, however, is me.  Everyone has their own path and my advice is to truly find what you like to do and just do it.  Bike riding, dance, skateboarding, hula hooping, kickboxing, walking, prancercisizing, dance walking, rollerblading, shooting hoops, spin classes, zumba, crossfit, and on and on.  I can not even begin to list the possibilities.  Just find something that you like to do.  Dance in your living room.  It will make you feel better, I promise.  It can be formal programs like at the gym, or just trying to walk for a little bit each day.  I have even brought my hula hoop to exercise on Main St. while my daughter was taking art classes (for more on this see my last blog on not caring so much about what others think of you).  Whatever you choose to do, just do it!

Finding the Key to Happiness Part 3: Stop Worrying So Much About Other People Think

     We all share a deep rooted need to be accepted into our current peer group and therefore conform to certain cultural norms.  This has been true for many years and remains true today.  In fact, one of the worst punishments throughout history was not necessarily death, but banishment.  Nobody wanted to be trotted out to the woods all by their lonesome with a big scarlet "A" on their chest.  We are social creatures and need human interaction and acceptance in order to survive.  So, we all conform to the rules, which is probably good so nobody is walking around naked or going to a business meeting dressed like a clown.  However, too much conformity isn't always a good thing and can hinder our road to true happiness.  Many of the great artists, scientists, and innovators would probably be considered non-conformists, because in order to truly come up with original ideas, designs, inventions, or whatever, one must not be afraid to bend the rules.  We also have in our culture a deep fear of being ridiculed and laughed at.. I guess our fear of actual physical banishment has been replaced by a great fear of social banishment.  Nobody wants to be the outcast.  I read a great book recently called "The  Eighty Dollar Champion" by Elizabeth Letts.  It is the true story of a Dutch immigrant in post-WWll era New York, who bought a horse for $80 off a truck bound for the slaughterhouse and discovered, quite by accident, that he had a great talent for jumping.  When he first started showing up at the prestigious east coast show jumping circuit, people laughed at him.  People laughed out loud in front of him where he could see them.  They laughed because the world of equestrian show jumping oozes with money and privilege, and Harry and his plow horse stuck out like a sore thumb.  Why was he able to ignore them?  Because despite his humble appearance, Harry was a talented horseman who saw something in this horse that others did not.  Of course, as the story goes, people stopped laughing when Harry and his horse, Snowman, went on to defeat Olympic riders and horses worth thousands of dollars to win the most coveted show jumping titles.  How different would his story have been if he didn't try because he knew he would be laughed at?  I do believe that kind of fear very often keeps us from pursuing our own happiness.  I often hear people say they don't want to try dance classes because they will "feel stupid".  So what?  Even if you feel like you are the worst one in the class and everything makes you feel awkward, so what?  If it is something you really want learn, do it.  We only have one life, might as well make the best of it.
One of my own non-conformist moments cam last week, when I broke out my hula hoop and practiced my hoop dance moves on Main St.  Why did I do this?  Because I have been trying to practice more, I was busy that day, and my daughter was taking an art class nearby, so I had a bit of free time, but had to stay close by.  Now, I live in a somewhat conservative town, so the sight of someone hooping on the Main St. is not exactly common.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw some people staring out their car windows and quite frankly, I was so wrapped up in my hooping that I just didn't care.  Some of them probably though I was really weird.  Don't care.  It can be very freeing to just not worry so much about what people think.  I challenge you to try it.  No, don't go to your business meeting dressed in a clown costume, but don't be afraid to be yourself, be a little different, wear something a little different, or stray away from the crowd.  You will feel happier not being so afraid to do what you truly love, and live you life to the fullest.