Finding the Key to Happiness Part 5: Surround Yourself with Other Happy People

                                                                               

  I am writing this blog at the end of what is typically the most unhappiest month of the whole year.  Holiday festivities are over, sales are low, it's cold, there is ice, snow, polar vortexes, delayed and cancelled events due to unfavorable weather.  My sandals and sundresses sit lonely in the closet taunting me with thoughts of warmer weather.   Yet, despite a rough start to the new year, and some really cold weather, I have had some time recently to reflex on what an awesome month this really was.  I had a chance to get together with a good artist friend to chat about art, life, business, marriage, etc....  I had the chance to get together with a small group of artists in the area to share ideas and swap supplies.  I completed a two day training to become a Hoopnotica Certified Instructor and had the chance to connect with a really fun group of people.  I attended a bellydance student performance salon, where dancers with all different personal styles, and ability levels, performed a solo using a mix of improvisation and choreography.  At all of these events I was struck by what an amazing sense of fellowship and joy there is in finding other people that share your passion.  People who spend time doing things that they love tend to be pretty happy, so it makes sense I am not around too many downers.  We all have known a few downers at some point.  Those people who seem to thrive on being miserable, complaining, turning every positive into a negative, and constantly being stressed out about something.  They are people to avoid since they always seem intent on bringing others into their misery.  I feel like just handing them a hula hoop and saying "here, try this, it will make you feel better!".  This month has made me realize how lucky I am to have so many wonderful people in my life, from a phenomenal dance and hooping community, to my growing community of art friends, and to my close friends and family, especially my husband, who always looks on the bright side.  All of them have made this dismal month full of hope and joy, and for that, I am very grateful.  I has inspired my  hoop weekend to upcycle  bangles using wire, sari fabric, vintage buttons, and various found objects.  Each one is unique and has it's own beauty, just like every person has their own joy to share.  So go find out what yours is, and share it with others!

Finding the Key to Happiness Part 4: Exercise

     It's that time of year again.  The darkness has set in and the holiday cookies are everywhere.  We are not out and about hitting the beach or throwing the ball around in the backyard.  We are holed up in our houses eating cookies and watching "Elf" for the 90th time. There has been a lot written about exercise affecting your mood, increasing your sero-something levels and giving you that famed "runners high".  Given all the research out there on this and the benefits of exercise, you would think people would be hitting the gym as much as possible.  Somehow, for many people, exercise is something still viewed as a chore.  For artists and crafters, we spend long periods hunched over our work in concentration, then go to craft shows and spend long hours sitting in a chair (although setting up and taking down your display is a workout and never let anyone tell you different!).  With jobs, kids, and the many other responsibilities we have, exercise seems to just be another thing we "just don't have time" for.  I have noticed that exercise programs. like diets, seem to follow trends. The south beach and paleo diet seem to be poular, alongside the spin and zumba classes.  Here is my advice of today, though: just find your own path and don't worry about what everyone else is doing.  Exercise is important, but more imporatant than what exercise you choose to do is just getting out there and doing something.  If you have a dog, this should be easy.  Every dog will treat a meager stroll around the block as the highlight of the entire day.  So get out there and walk your dog, even on colder days (although I'll admit to skipping this one more recently as icy conditions have set in).  If. like me, the thought of riding around on a stationary bike for an hour in a group class sounds dismal, then do something else (I mean no offense to spin classes, or spin class instructors, everyone needs to find their own path).  I do believe what they say about exercise affecting your mood.  If I haven't had time to do anything else, spinning my hula hoop around in the basement and working up a sweat for twenty minutes will work wonders to chase my glum mood away.  Practicing my shimmy while cooking dinner will do the same (which may explain why I tend to overcook things).  I have been attracted to belly dance and hoop dance because they are creative forms of exercise and always provide new challenges and goals to shoot for, which keep me motivated.  That, however, is me.  Everyone has their own path and my advice is to truly find what you like to do and just do it.  Bike riding, dance, skateboarding, hula hooping, kickboxing, walking, prancercisizing, dance walking, rollerblading, shooting hoops, spin classes, zumba, crossfit, and on and on.  I can not even begin to list the possibilities.  Just find something that you like to do.  Dance in your living room.  It will make you feel better, I promise.  It can be formal programs like at the gym, or just trying to walk for a little bit each day.  I have even brought my hula hoop to exercise on Main St. while my daughter was taking art classes (for more on this see my last blog on not caring so much about what others think of you).  Whatever you choose to do, just do it!

Finding the Key to Happiness Part 3: Stop Worrying So Much About Other People Think

     We all share a deep rooted need to be accepted into our current peer group and therefore conform to certain cultural norms.  This has been true for many years and remains true today.  In fact, one of the worst punishments throughout history was not necessarily death, but banishment.  Nobody wanted to be trotted out to the woods all by their lonesome with a big scarlet "A" on their chest.  We are social creatures and need human interaction and acceptance in order to survive.  So, we all conform to the rules, which is probably good so nobody is walking around naked or going to a business meeting dressed like a clown.  However, too much conformity isn't always a good thing and can hinder our road to true happiness.  Many of the great artists, scientists, and innovators would probably be considered non-conformists, because in order to truly come up with original ideas, designs, inventions, or whatever, one must not be afraid to bend the rules.  We also have in our culture a deep fear of being ridiculed and laughed at.. I guess our fear of actual physical banishment has been replaced by a great fear of social banishment.  Nobody wants to be the outcast.  I read a great book recently called "The  Eighty Dollar Champion" by Elizabeth Letts.  It is the true story of a Dutch immigrant in post-WWll era New York, who bought a horse for $80 off a truck bound for the slaughterhouse and discovered, quite by accident, that he had a great talent for jumping.  When he first started showing up at the prestigious east coast show jumping circuit, people laughed at him.  People laughed out loud in front of him where he could see them.  They laughed because the world of equestrian show jumping oozes with money and privilege, and Harry and his plow horse stuck out like a sore thumb.  Why was he able to ignore them?  Because despite his humble appearance, Harry was a talented horseman who saw something in this horse that others did not.  Of course, as the story goes, people stopped laughing when Harry and his horse, Snowman, went on to defeat Olympic riders and horses worth thousands of dollars to win the most coveted show jumping titles.  How different would his story have been if he didn't try because he knew he would be laughed at?  I do believe that kind of fear very often keeps us from pursuing our own happiness.  I often hear people say they don't want to try dance classes because they will "feel stupid".  So what?  Even if you feel like you are the worst one in the class and everything makes you feel awkward, so what?  If it is something you really want learn, do it.  We only have one life, might as well make the best of it.
One of my own non-conformist moments cam last week, when I broke out my hula hoop and practiced my hoop dance moves on Main St.  Why did I do this?  Because I have been trying to practice more, I was busy that day, and my daughter was taking an art class nearby, so I had a bit of free time, but had to stay close by.  Now, I live in a somewhat conservative town, so the sight of someone hooping on the Main St. is not exactly common.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw some people staring out their car windows and quite frankly, I was so wrapped up in my hooping that I just didn't care.  Some of them probably though I was really weird.  Don't care.  It can be very freeing to just not worry so much about what people think.  I challenge you to try it.  No, don't go to your business meeting dressed in a clown costume, but don't be afraid to be yourself, be a little different, wear something a little different, or stray away from the crowd.  You will feel happier not being so afraid to do what you truly love, and live you life to the fullest.

Finding the Key to Happiness part 2: Pay it Forward

     It should not come as news to most of you that one of the things that has shown to improve well-being is doing good for others.  Helping out a friend, volunteering, practicing random acts of kindness, and other good things can all lead to a more fulfilling and happy life.  One thing I always try to impart on my children is that doing good has it's own internal rewards (I am somewhat critical of our current culture of rewarding kids for everything).  The act of doing good should never be because you get a gold star next to your name or it looks good on your college application.  Paying it forward means when people have done good things for you, you should in turn do good for others.  I have been fortunate to have had some success in selling my jewelry creations, and for that  I am very grateful.  Anyone who makes and sells art knows how difficult and frustrating it can be.  One of the biggest difficulties is that what I am selling is truly a luxury item.  Nobody really needs jewelry.  It is not as if am selling a luxury necessity item, like artisan bread or handmade soap, what I am selling is truly an indulgence.  It is for this reason that I am extremely grateful every time someone makes a purchase from my booth at a show.  Very often, people come in and admire something, then say something along the lines of" I just can't afford it right now".  I can say very honestly that I understand.  I have been on an extremely tight budget before and I know what it is like to barely have enough money to pay your bills.  Even now that we are somewhat more financially comfortable, there are always vacations, retirement, college funds, house projects, car repairs, and many other things (not to mention those wonderful unexpected appliance failures that always seem to happen in threes!) to save for that make buying a $50 piece of jewelry a real indulgence.  It is for this reason that I have not once been upset or looked down on someone when they spend time looking in my booth but don't make a purchase.  This is why I feel truly blessed when someone does make a purchase, and because I have been blessed, I like to pay it forward and purchase art from others.  I have spent $60 on a piece of jewelry that someone made because I know they loved creating it, and by purchasing from them, I am helping them pursue their dreams and keep doing what they love.
    However this translates to your life, just do it.  Putting good out in the world is never a bad thing when there is so much ugliness, and you will feel better for doing it.  If you do it for others, they will be inspired to do good for someone else, be it purchasing art, mentoring someone, letting that harried mother with the melting down kids go in front of you at the supermarket, offering a listening ear to a friend in need, what ever it may be, just do it.  Pay it forward.

Finding the Key to Happiness Part 1: Gratitude

     There has been so much written about happiness and what makes some people live in a perpetual state of contentment, and some people constant grumps.  In reading these articles, and through my own experiences, I see a common thread that really shows us the best road to living the happy life.  Let me just preface this with saying that I am not necessarily a "happy all the time" person.  I have days when I feel sad, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and any other negative emotions that come my way.  However, I am not a constant grump either, and if you've ever run into someone like that, you can't help but to feel sorry for them and the miserable cloud they seem to live under.  Negative emotions are part of life, and part of who we are as people, so I don't think you can totally run away from them, but with practice, there are ways to change your way of thinking to allow more sunshine into your life.
     One thing that I see listed time and time again on the traits of happy people is gratitude.  It is recommended to list things that you are grateful for everyday, even if this list is as simple as a roof over your head, a safe place to sleep, and food on the table.  Our culture and perhaps human nature in general gives us the inclination to be very self-focused.  Our daily problems seem less significant when you stop to realize that whatever you are dealing with that day, an unexpected big bill, problems a with a co-worker, hurt feelings, major traffic on the way to something important, etc..., someone, somewhere has it a lot worse and would gladly change places with you.  Sometimes you just need a little perspective.  I am not trying to sound preachy.  Believe me, I grumble about the small stuff, too.  One of my frustrations is lack of time to work on the things I would like to work on, so I get frustrated with things that consume my time.  I found myself grumbling about having to take my car in for an oil change. Is it really some great burden to hand my car keys over to someone who will toil over it in the heat of the day while I sit in an air-conditioned waiting room and page through an outdated magazine or two? Another thing I grumble about is grocery shopping, which some people seem to really enjoy but I simply do not.  Do I really have any right to grumble about having enough money in my wallet that I can go in this gigantic store full of food I buy what I'd like?  Sometimes, it really does take I little bit of thinking adjustment to keep that sense of perspective.
     In the world of art, there are many frustrations, and things that can get us down.  We spend a lot of time trying to learn a new technique, only to have failed results.  We can wake up at 5am, truck all of our wares to an all day show and sell absolutely nothing.  The list could go on and on, and it is easy to let these things turn us into grumps.  We must always take a few moments to realize how truly lucky we are.  My way of dealing with my lack of time frustrations is to be grateful for my creativity and the fact that I have any ideas at all, because it is far better to have too many ideas and not enough time, than to have too much time and no ideas.

Dare to Dream

    
This necklace was inspired by the famous dancer Mata Hari.  I have long admired women who had the courage to live their lives without apology and be true to themselves, no matter what hardship was thrown her way.  Her story is a tragic one.  Escaping an unhappy marriage to a much older man, she managed to reinvent herself as a dancer, and made quite a name for herself in Paris.  In 1917 she was executed by firing squad on charges of spying for the Germans during World War I.  It has been said that she refused to be blindfolded as she bravely faced her death.  I'm sure that some people will always believe she was a spy, but many historians now believe that there was simply not enough evidence.  We have a long history in many cultures of holding women who made their living independent of men (like dancers) in great suspicion,.  This, I believe, was her real crime.  At a time when women's options were so very limited, it took great courage to try to live her life as she wanted, not in the way that was expected of her.

     We all still face a metaphorical firing squad when trying to pursue our dreams.  That line of critics ready to fire away at our heart with doubt, discomfort, self- criticism, and frustration.  Do we put on a blindfold and cower in fear, or step bravely forward and face the onslaught?  Art takes courage and the ability to venture out of your comfort zone to take a few risks.  As for me, I am trying to keep my blindfold off.

The Art of Puttering

     Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines the verb putter as "to move or act aimlessly or idly; to work at random; tinker.  Personally, I have perfected the act and state of  working aimlessly.  It is the thing I do when my house gets overwhelming and I can't seem to focus on one certain task. When this happens (which is often), I resort to aimless puttering.  Start by sort that pile of papers on the kitchen counter (oh, there's that school paper I was supposed to send in yesterday!), I end up finding an important paper which needs to be filed upstairs.  Going upstairs to file that important paper will result in me noticing I need to organize the computer desk.  Organizing the computer desk, I notice some CDs I put in my iTunes library that need to be put away.  Putting away the CDs will result in me noticing we still have Dora the Explorer VHS tapes stacked by our TV (my daughter declared herself too old for Dora a while ago).  I put the Dora tapes in a box to go in the garage ( until I get time to putter in there).  While in the garage I notice something else, and so on... You get the idea.  It begins to sound like a grown-up version of one of those "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" books.  Yes, it is aimless, but certainly not idle.  Running up and down the stairs to put things away is very far from idle, and always makes me realize the ludicrousness of those StairMaster machines.  Even if the act of puttering lacks a goal, I still actually get things done.  I find things that are lost, fill up our recycling with outdated papers and magazines, and things eventually start to look just a little bit neater and under control.
     The same thing happens from time to time in my studio when I feel unfocused and overwhelmed and I'm not sure what to work on.  I putter in my studio and start going through old jewelry I haven't gone through in a while.  I find things that were lost, and think about new uses for things that have been laying around.  These earrings are the direct result of aimless puttering.  They are comprised almost entirely of recycled vintage and newer jewelry.  Things that have long been discarded by its original owner get a new chance to come back as something else.  Even the chandelier components where once multi-strand necklace connectors.  Each one of them becomes like a little puzzle I have to put together to make them just right.  I have made and sold many of these earrings, and each one I've made I've been tempted to keep because I love them so much.  They are truly original and one of a kind.  So my advice is to indulge in a little aimless puttering every now and then.  Sometimes the result can be pretty cool!